Jill and Bob Held
June 14, 2009
Sunday Telegraph, Sydney, Australia

Support: Amy Gee with her son Oliver and grandparents, Jill and Bob Held.

It Can Be Quite Distressing for Parents'
A grand new way to bring up baby

By LISA MAYOH

THERE was a time when a new parent's only guidance came from carping grandmothers, who would claim that only they knew the way to bring up baby. Now a Sydney hospital is teaching nannas modern child rearing techniques and how to support their own children in the tricky transition to parenthood.

First-time parents Amy and Gideon Gee welcomed baby Oliver into the world five weeks ago, and were thrilled when Amy's parents decided to do the Becoming a Grandparent class at North Shore Private Hospital.

“It was a nice way to get support that wasn't supervisory, and at the same time respecting my wishes about how we wanted to raise our child,” the Cammeray mum said.

“I was definitely nervous in dealing with a newborn because you don't know what to expect. My first port of call has always been my mum, so we wanted to engage our parents and ask for help but also make our own decisions and draw our own conclusions.”

Amy's parents, Bob and Jill Held, thought the class would be a valuable way to become the best grandparents they could be.

“It was just fantastic.” Mrs. Held said. “Its been thirty-two years since we've had a baby and things have changed --- we wanted to do this to go forward and enjoy our grandson.”

Mrs. Held said it could be difficult for young mothers, with so much new information to absorb. “The first couple of days everyone starts to make comments about what’s happening and it can be quite distressing for the parents,” she said. “I thought if I don't say anything, then that's one less opinion.”

“I've raised my children; my time has passed when it comes to that. Now it's Amy and Gideon’s turn.”

Hospital midwife and parenting co-coordinator Carol Himmelhoch said the course taught new techniques in breastfeeding, safe sleeping methods and childproofing homes.“The clients we get here are very interested grandparents who want to participate.”

Ms. Himmelhoch said, "This course lets them ask questions and talk to each other, and it just stops the friction between the child and grandparent, particularly daughter-in-laws."

She said the role of fathers in child raising had become more involved, and grandparents were taught to take a step back and “let daddy do it".

"We talk to them about practical support, so bringing meals around or helping clean the house in the first few weeks, and if the father takes a week's paternity leave, they should not be there in that time.”

"It’s almost like a second lease for them, it’s really lovely."